The MJ

A Modest Proposal

Kristen: I can't stand it when people propose at baseball games.
Me: Really? I was going to originally propose to you at Bowers Stadium.
Kristen: Disgusting.
Me: In front of 20, maybe even 25 screaming Bearkats. 50 yard line.
Kristen: The only thing tackier would be to propose in a Wal-Mart.

Math!

John & Kate + 8 = WHY!?!?!?!?! What a terrible, terrible show.  Those two deserve each other as...

Why do IHOP ads always suck?

“Scene kids!”
— Stephen Briseno

“Ethanol is the answer! Corn plus magic equals ethanol!”
— Stephen Colbert

“Never show a good movie during your crappy movie.”
— Tom Servo

Why is Chopin so much bigger? Amazing the things you see at...

“Rock it you turkey!”
— Mike Nelson

“An upcoming wave of new workers in our society will never...”
— TaxingTennessee: Did we miss...

Western European Racism is fun!

Crow: Who did they think this would appeal to, anyway? Elderly squirrels?
Mike: People without heads?
Crow: Toadstools?
Tom: Clumps of dirt, maybe.
Mike: Barber poles?
Crow: Coffee tables, perhaps?
Tom: Little bits of material that break off of plastic trays?
Mike: Used napkins?
Crow: Italians, maybe?
Mike: Crow!
Crow: What?
Mike: A little off the point there.
Crow: Oh, I'm sorry. I see what you’re saying...Germans?
Mike: No!

LOVE.

My trip to Corpus - stream of conscience...

Freeganism.  Love’s Truck Stop surprising lack of hair products.  It’s just Refugio....

Bluegrass

Me: Screw Kentucky. They probably can't spell the word gag there.
Stewart: Yes they can. It's the first thing you do when you enter the state.

I am just about halfway to Boston! Now to raise 5k a month….

“It happened in the 60s. My generation is too busy trying to...”
— Phinmar, Newsvine User, in...