The MJ

Love is the revolution.

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On small group and various foodstuffs:

  • Matt: The proof is in the pudding-
  • Stephen: Wait, what? The proof?
  • Matt: You've never heard that said? It's an old English phrase.
  • Stephen: Dude, I'm Mexican. You're going to have to say the truth is in the tamales or something.
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Inglorious Music

  • My Facebook Status: Coming this Spring, "Inglorious Music", Quentin Tarantino's decidedly different (and violent) take on the classic tale of the Von Trapp family. You'll never think of "So Long, Farewell" the same way again after you've seen Maria and Captain von Trapp behead Hitler while the children dismember Goebbels, Eichman, and Himmler. And don't even ask what becomes of Rolf during the reprise of "Sixteen Going On Seventeen". It's too disturbing to even post.
  • Stewart's Comment: Sabotaging the Luftwaffe and dropkicking Nazis, Strangling Goebbels, well that's a big Yahtzee, Hitler's bullet-riddled body, tied up with string, These are a few of my favorite things.
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Great art should be shown with great excitement
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  • Prospective client: $400 for a logo?! Why are you so expensive? My nephew has Photoshop—I can just get him to do it.
  • Me: Does your nephew have Microsoft Word?
  • Prospective client: Yes.
  • Me: Then have him write you a novel while he’s at it.
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The wrongness of the sinful act lies not merely in its nonconformity, or its departure from the accepted, appropriate way of behavior, but in an implicitly aggressive quality-a ruthlessness, a hurting, a breaking away from God and from the rest of humanity … alienation or (an) act of rebellion.
— Dr. Karl Menninger
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Oh, what it were to be right sure of thee!
Sure that thou art, and the same as thy son, Jesus!
Oh, faith is deeper, wider than the sea,
Yea, than the blue of heaven that ever flees us!
Yet simple as the cry of sore-hurt child,
Or as his shout, with sudden gladness wild,
When home from school he runs, till morn set free.
— George MacDonald
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Deposition in Review: Thursday October 22, 2009

Today’s witness bears a striking resemblance to Jack Donaghy, both physically and in composure. Like, to the point I expect him to begin his sentences with “Lemon” and tell us all that Dick Cheney is an American hero.

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I didn’t lie, Kenneth. I massaged the truth.
— Jack Donaghy
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Bill, it was a different time. It was before they knew the Russians were incompetent.
— Hank Hill
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You don’t see Michael Moore making Fast Food Nation because that man loves himself a cheeseburger.
— David Cothran
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Just saw a midget with no legs jumping on a trampoline.
— A text from my wife, who is currently at the Britney Spears concert.
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On washed up celebrities, or, why I love east Texas.

  • Stewart: So, more washed up celebrities i get to interview. This time: Three Dog Night
  • MJ: Really? Oh dude, I have an awesome story about them and just how washed up they are.
  • Stewart: I dunno, it's Three Dog Night, they're all like 70 or dead now.
  • MJ: So how did you come across the incredibly good fortune of interviewing Three Dog Night?
  • Stewart: They're coming to the East Texas State Fair.
  • MJ: Oh dang. Big timers.
  • Stewart: They'll be playing across from the agriculture magic show, professional sand castle builders, and the self-professed world's tallest juggling leprechaun.
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Time to piss on the fire and call in the dogs.
— An attorney in my deposition, signifying he was almost through with his questioning.
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If I could have my ministry over again, I would talk more about God. Not about God’s works or God’s ways, God’s power or God’s bounty. But about God’s very self—God’s omnipresence, God’s omniscience, God’s omnipotence; God’s unutterable goodness, God’s ineffable holiness, God’s splendour, God’s glory, God’s love. For if I could make people very sure of God, they would soon hurry to that divine Saviour who is able to save to the uttermost those who come to God by Him.
— FW Boreham
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GPOYW - B&W Edition

ohthehumanity:

GPOYW - B&W Edition